Interview on bullying, body confidence, self-esteem, depression and anxiety with Louise.
Louise! Thank you for taking part my project by letting me interview
you! Tell me a bit about yourself?
a total bunting addict who loves 90's pop punk and graphic novels. If
you ever needed to find me, I'd be in a cinema, sorting through
vintage stores, listening to my record collection or playing a game
or two on the Playstation. I'd like to say I'm extroverted but I'm
not - I love my small group of friends and I find I'm happier this
way. What else... oh yeah, I blog.
do you blog about?
blog about adventures I go on with my friends and fiance, Green
Ranger, recipes I try and absolutely love, wish-lists for clothes,
beauty and stationery among other things, random opinion/inspiration
pieces that have helped me through and blogs about topics I find
generally quite interesting and hope my lovely readers will too!
inspires you in life?
all honesty, other people. With the influx of social media in
everyone's lives, it's now so much easier to see the 'good' and the
inspiring stuff that people are doing all over the world. It shows
that the world doesn't have to be this dark, depressing place that
the news always paints it as. I think, for me, Tumblr and Instagram
showcase this really well with the communities on there - full-blown
creative minded people with stories to tell. What's not to be
inspired by. I guess other things that inspire me would be magazines
like Company and Glamour, other wonderful bloggers like Becky Bedbug
and paperbagblog, specific indie films like '500 Days of Summer' or
'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty' and music, my favourites are Foos,
Coldplay, Beatles and probably, Kings of Leon at the moment.
media definitely provides great opportunities to be influential and
promote a positive community! What keeps you motivated?
dealing with OCD, you tend to be fairly motivated, so I've not really
struggled in this department, apart from when I was suffering with
depression. It was a toughie as OCD meant I HAD to do all these
things at the right time and all the time or I'd get major panic
attacks but the other half of me just could not be bothered, I
couldn't get out of bed, let alone do anything else! Luckily, I had
special friends who saw me through and dragged me out when I needed
it, talking about past issues with my psychologist definitely helped.
Having someone who could say to me that what I was thinking, whether
that be 'I'm fat - so why should anyone love me?' to 'What's the
point?' was okay and talk it over rationally with me really helped.
can definitely relate with OCD! It's a real time consumer as well!
What is your proudest achievement either in life or the blogging
the blogging world, it would have to be going to the #LDNBloggersTea
in Kensington about a month ago. It was SO nerve-wracking, having to
talk to brand new people, going alone and having to make conversation
was so anxiety-inducing I nearly didn't make it. It took the kind
words of my fiance to calm me down, tell me that I looked fine and
talk me into going. I still wandered around Kensington Gardens to
calm myself down before venturing anywhere near the venue!
Non-blogging world, it'd have to be overcoming anorexia, I say
overcoming but I still have the thoughts that accompany the disorder.
I'm glad to say that I now eat three meals a day and it is under
control from a physical sense. This took literally everything I had
and I wouldn't be here without my family and close friends who
is your experience with bullying, body confidence, self-esteem,
depression and anxiety?
I was at school, I was always bullied for being a bit of a porker. I
was admittedly obese as a child but I didn't deserve the daily
ridiculing from the other children. Nonetheless, I compartmentalised
it and got on with my day-to-day, I became very good at putting on a
front - 'the fat, bubbly girl'. But inside I was hurting and my
self-esteem was practically non-existent.
can't remember what it was exactly that changed, it may have been the
death of my nan (she was the closest thing to me in my world) but I
just gradually ate less and less to the point where I was banned from
the gym and PE as they saw I had 'issues', and I was counting a grain
of rice as dinner - nothing else, not even water for fear of calorie
eventually got hospitalised and decided I'd rather die before eat
anything. I had lost all self-worth all without anyone really
recognising bar the odd guy on the playground who'd then ridicule me
for having an eating disorder. Being thin meant that people talked to
me like an 'average' human girl in most instances, who could be
attractive and interesting, without being thin I was nothing. It's
fair to say that it gave me a degree of control over my own life when
a lot was changing, it masked just how depressed and anxious I was
about my life and my future.
has it changed your life?
with the above changed my life immensely, I went from being an
outwardly 'happy' child who didn't think on anything bar the next S
Club 7 song to being the most cynical and downright depressing person
you'd ever meet who could burst into tears at any opportunity. I'm
glad to say that I have stabilised now, in my younger adult years,
but I still walk down the street and wonder who and why is staring, I
still 'hate' the way I look and question why it is that people would
even want to talk to me. These are just a few things that are coped
with on a day-to-day business. And that is exactly what it is, a
day-to-day business. You can't plan for being sad one day and happy
the next - it doesn't work like that.
are you coping with it?
Seeing a psychologist is out of the question, I have a full-time job
to maintain and appointments don't exactly cater for this. So I use
good, old distraction techniques. I tried the self-soothing exercises
but these never helped me, that negative voice in my head always
overcame it but listening to music, watching a film or playing a game
I like takes me away into a world where I'm not always anxious and
I'm not always putting myself down. It gives me a break from the
monotony of negativity.
you feel like the media are doing enough to help people who suffer
from bullying, body confidence, self-esteem, depression and anxiety?
think compared to when I was a kid/teen, there has been a lot of
awareness campaigns about the above, acknowledging that it is a
problem BUT there simply isn't the actual support. Funding has been
cut in all the wrong places and people like me are being affected
everywhere I turn. The problem is that these problems are inherent
within out society and until that changes then these issues will
always be just that, issues. The media need to change the perception
of these illnesses and I think they're only a small percentage of the
way there. That is not to say that it won't improve.
are your top tips for anyone living with bullying, body confidence,
self-esteem, depression and anxiety?
difficult as it may be, you need to be true to yourself and who you
are and keep your head held high no matter what because there is
always light at the end of that dark tunnel. Sod what anyone else has
to say and ignore it, they're just insecure about themselves and
projecting this onto you as a means of coping - you don't have to
listen nor take it. Surround yourself with supportive people and
things you love too, these will inevitably guide you through on the
crappiest of days - they are your rocks.
you so much, Louise! I found your answers so interesting and honest,
which I'm sure people will appreciate and find inspiring! If you'd
like to visit any of Lousie's links, here they are: